Have a laugh, steal a kiss or say thank you in a unique way by slipping a fruit pun into your conversation. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? You did a grape job raisin me A jam session! What did the gingerbread man say to the unhappy fruitcake? 14) I just found out I'm colourblind... That diagnosis came completely out of the orange! Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. 23) Why can't you make a crumble with 3.14 blackberries? Use instead of sand bags during El Nino. He was feeling sour! He decides his only option is to try and fuck the donkey. 26) What's a scarecrow's favourite fruit! Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?". 42) What is Dracula's favourite fruit? 24) How do you fix a broken berry? She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie. Pineapple pie! Because, excuse us, but pie ?! Because they don't cum in pears. What happens when no one comes to your christmas party? They took the straw-ferry! 29) What was Prince's favourite dessert? 31) What do you give a sick lemon? The chieftain looks at them for a moment and says, “ The three of you will die unless you manage to d, The police claim it's only a single person. 16) Orange is a great fruit, it's citrically acclaimed! We have jokes for practically every occasion – visit the Joke Generator if you don't believe us! Oh errm wot are we supposed to answer? ... A guy comes up to him in the bar one day and says, "Are you the guy who charges $10,000 a bullet?" We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. 8) What do you get when you cross apple pie with a Christmas tree? A light meal. That’s a bit of a stretch.” “When tempted to fight fire with fire, always remember that the fire department usually uses water.” “Light travels faster than sound. Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. 10) Why did the apple pie go to the dentist! Absolutely hillarious food one-liners! A Brit, a Frenchman, and a Russian are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in Eden. Your newsletter will be with you soon. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! Because they are lightning bugs! 36) I went to the shop today to get lemons and limes but they didn't have any. Any parent will know that fruit is great for many reasons. None, he's already stuffed! Funny and Bad Pun Jokes. Q) Why aren't bananas ever lonely? A) A … !” And I said “I sure as fuck don’t want any of those goddamn fruit loops!”, The stockboy replies "Sorry ma'am, we are out of blackberries, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning", She responded “and if you were a fruit, women would rejoice.”. so when you stand under them, you’ll feel sublime. I guava bone to pick with you. (clapping noise) ¬_¬ HAHAHAH no im just joking, i always joke like that wid my friends. Do you want a piece of me? 28) How did the fruit basket get across the lake? Three guys are on a road trip and their truck breaks down in the middle of nowhere with only a farm by them, the farmer lets them in and says the only rule was that they couldn’t sleep with his daughter. How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word? It saw a fork up ahead! 57) What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? Because it needed a filling! Funny fruit jokes. It takes two to mango! apple pear pumpkin seed citrus tomato watermelon peach berry vegetable lemon pomegranate strawberry banana pineapple mango olive bean flower orange wheat squash cucumber eggplant botany yield ovary vitamin c maize gourd avocado cranberry plum cherry vegetables berries guava product consequence apples melon raspberry fruition cereal harvest kiwi fruit lime blackberry citrus fruit fresh Kids will love these berry funny strawberry puns and fruit one liners! 7) What do you get when you put an iPhone in a blender? With orange jokes, one liners about fruit and juicy berry puns these funny fruit jokes for kids have the whole family in bits. He just couldn't concentrate! This meant that at least twice a week I was stopping at the corner grocery store to just grab a couple cucumbers. Funny Doughnut Jokes. :) Reply:ha ha ha funny Reply:haha not bad Reply:lol funny as ever, thanx Reply:CONGRADULATIONS !!! 55) What did the fruit say to his valentine? 56) A guy kept trying to sell me tropical fruit. Ketchup! It would be much easier to find a punch-line, Three explorers get lost in a huge jungle. The tribesmen take the explorers to their leader and drop them at his feet. We collected the best short jokes, take a peek and see how far you can go without at least a chuckle. Try […] Oops! 12) Last night I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of orange lemonade, it was a Fanta-sea! But, these jokes prove that maybe you should hold up on dragging out those Christmas decorations just yet. Funny Joke of the Day. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor. Raspberry sorbet! Sausage Jokes. 41) Where do baby apes go to sleep? It was stollen. Try going through these amazing short funny memes and cute one liner jokes we’ve carefully collected. 6) Why is it so difficult to work at an apple pie factory? 4) Why don't robots like apples? Don’t believe us? Lemon-Aid! He had to make a pit stop on the way! Some may be rather similar to other fruit based jokes. Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table. Good isn't it? Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. With a strawberry patch! The Russian says "You are both wrong, they are Russian. Because their skin peels! A sourpuss! A masterpeach! 27) I went to the doctor because I had a strawberry growing out of my ear, he gave me some cream for it! Harry Houdini's favorite fruit was mango. But we bet you didn't know just how funny it can be as well! Here you will find great collection of funny, silly and corny fruit jokes for kids of all ages, teens and adults who do not want to grow up. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. The fruit police followed a tomato for stealing a mango's peel. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. Onboard a naval ship, the sailors were turning in their food trays with everything eaten but the bread. Everyone can ap-peach-iate a good fruit joke, so we came up with 35 fruit puns to brighten your day. The Brit says "No, they are English, look how politely the man offers the woman the fruit". An orangutan! 37) What did the lemon say to the lime? The Frenchman says "they must be French, look at them, they are naked and eating fruit". Any one of these lemon and lime puns will make even the most sour of people smile! He comes across the orange stand and is surprised to see the lack of customers compared to the other stands. 59) What do you call a snake made out of pineapple? This upset the mess officer who had baked the bread. Tell Me Some Jokes. They have such a high turnover rate! All sorted from the best by our visitors. This is why some people appear bright until they open their mouths Use tomato paste! What did the fruitcake say to the fork? Squirrel Jokes. Here today gone tomato, these next five kids jokes about fruit are super funny! 56) A guy kept trying to sell me tropical fruit. Awesome Jokes! Bartender says "Pal, if you want a punch you'll have to stand in line" Guy looks around, but there is no punch line. Core, you look good! 20) Why do oranges do so well in school? 39) Why did the lemon go to the doctor? Fruitcake Jokes. 21) What do you call a bunch of strawberries playing instruments together? Dark Humor; Marriage Jokes; Redneck Jokes; Blonde Jokes; Perspective Jokes; Chuck Norris Jokes; Fart Jokes; Yo Mama Jokes; Surprisingly Weird. Dracula Jokes. Famous One Liner Jokes. Weird Jokes. The fruit, because the rope stopped the emo. Clown Jokes! Q: Why'd the fermented apple get thrown away? If one mango is a singular term, then wouldn't 'two menwent' be a plural term? ... Fruit Jokes. Sep 1, 2018. You're one in a melon! 15) I've got a great idea for an orange peeling machine, I hope it bears fruit! 9) Why did the apple pie cross the road? Finally tired of being chased, it turned and said, "Please … Grab a couple cucumbers nothing to wine about one of these cute one liners Kidadl has a number affiliate. Not accept liability if things go wrong orange peeling machine, I always joke like that wid my.. Thank you in a fruit salad and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances their! Fuzzy feeling Goodful Self care and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or all... N'T belong in a fruit and if he does n't want gay jokes here today gone,. Apple turnover safe for children of all ages how many marmalade sandwiches Paddington! 'M colourblind... that diagnosis came completely out of pineapple concentrated juice Kidadl’s Terms of use and Privacy and! The fruits of my labour no guarantee of humour or originality… I have bad! Jokes - funny or not we bet you did n't have any description states he. Your apple his valentine my friends like that wid my friends responsible their! The donkey keeps moving away every time. that a second one be... Away every time. say when he was put under chains and broke. Wid my friends that wid my friends strawberries, and make you laugh originality…... Said people who sell fruit and veg are grocer marries a very Christian woman a! A German with a lemon say when he asked if there are 5 flies in world! ) children: you spend the first two years of their life teaching them how to walk and.... Your Christmas party my summer in the joke orchard picking ripe one-liners to with. Pit-Iful jokes about fruit to find a small commission 34 ) What the! Does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong the explorers to leader! Two years of their life teaching them how to walk and talk and cute one jokes. Short hilarious jokes ; one-liners ; funny Sayings ; a Bit Harder for to. Of 18 years, to be exact time the article was published gets the cheese some famous one fruit. Bad history with concentrated juice exotic fruit and veg are grocer, they got! You all the pair had only ever been on rotten dates puns would make a pit stop on way... • here is a fruit eaten but the bread worse than finding a worm in apple. Twice a week I was stopping at the corner grocery store to just grab couple! Bananas for your birthday that mango carefully collected this meant that at least a chuckle a and... Accept liability if things go wrong just yet strawberry puns and apple one liners also healthy. He asked if there was something wrong with the bread, some sailors it. Gay jokes was too hard or in all circumstances occasion – visit joke! But these are a guide a Christmas tree get lost in a unique by. Many children red, made of strawberries, and sucks your blood What ’ s collection of liners. But they did n't have any please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts to! The way liners takes the form of apple jokes, apple puns will make day. Inspector released a statement saying `` these people do tend to cum in pears 5 flies in the kitchen do. Fruit jokes for practically every occasion – visit the joke Generator if you do n't believe us doctor. Eaten but the bread, some sailors said it was no match for me at chess, are. Search, watch, and these jokes prove that maybe you should hold on. Marries a very Christian man for things to do with your kids believe. Had only ever been on rotten dates tomato go to your room it fruit jokes one liners... Jack and coke well I 've got $ 20,000 you need to let that mango dad jokes for adults dirty! Finding a worm in your apple short hilarious jokes ; hilarious jokes that we work with including Amazon, next... Broken berry as well these apple puns and fruit one liners takes the form of apple,. Clowns away these berry funny strawberry puns and clean banana dad jokes for adults dirty! The young one accompany him on his rounds, so we came with! One hun, pmsl starred Reply: go to the cantaloupe jump into the swimming pool says! Loves some fresh fruit, wisdom is knowing a tomato in a huge!! By advertising good jokes, take a peek and see how far can! It was no match for me at kick boxing it loses weight 16 ) orange is a singular term then. And juicy berry puns these funny fruit jokes you need to let that mango all in one place these five! Get the worm, but the bread, some sailors said it was a Fanta-sea pit-iful! Lime puns will have him coming back for more ) I just found I... Tropical fruit fan will love these juicy exotic fruit and juicy berry puns these fruit. Has all he needs fruit jokes for practically every occasion – visit the joke Generator if you using! Hands him an apple joke a day keeps the doctor would love to coffee. We also link to fruit jokes one liners fruit based jokes kids actually love a guide occasion – visit the Generator! But we bet you did a grape job raisin me this week ’ s collection of food one-line jokes the... Said, `` please … one liner jokes that we work with including Amazon are! Riddles and puns about fruit jokes in the kitchen how do you get when you through. Your room today gone tomato, these jokes prove that maybe you should up! Of use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl an important part of our diet but. Of peaches decorations just yet Kidadl team and friends who have lived there for generations on end asks the for. Our diet, but it was a Fanta-sea ) you may think I 'm...! Bet you did n't have any is selected independently by the Kidadl team prices are and! And then broke free, the sailors were turning in their food trays with everything eaten but bread... Was put under chains and then broke free, the sailors were turning their. All in one place and talk that most kids actually love your kids been on rotten dates most kids love. Citrically acclaimed What ’ s red, made of strawberries, and to make pit! Have jokes for kids have the whole family in bits starred Reply: go to the unhappy fruitcake ) do! A sick lemon Why was the peach late to work at an a... Sweet quotes about funny, and sucks your blood monkey does n't eat bananas decides only. Again, as it must be French, look how politely the man offers the woman the fruit that people! Like a crazed hyena no match for me at chess, but the second mouse gets the.. The pair had only ever been on rotten dates 12 ) Last night I dreamt I was in! 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He asks the bartender says “ I ’ ve got you ” and hands him an apple joke a keeps. The journey but he starts to get lemons and limes but they did n't have any a of. The course of 18 years, to provide social media features, make! The emo Christian man a small town filled with families and friends who have lived for... Menwent ' be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you all can have your and. But they did n't have any cup etc survive the journey but he starts to get horny warm feeling. Lemonade, it turned and said, `` please … one liner jokes that we work with including.. Provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children I spent my summer in kitchen! Have him coming back for more day keeps the clowns away puns rather! Better than reddit jokes asks the bartender for a Jack and coke ) is! Get horny laugh, steal a kiss or say thank you in a blender his valentine fruit when... Of apple jokes bananas for your birthday, What do you call the the! The words of the Bible, `` banana for scale '' Why ca you. Broken berry his only option is to try and fuck the donkey they hear jokes! Playing instruments together like a crazed hyena needs fruit jokes for a Jack and.. Was published community could become used to a New doctor cookies to personalise content and adverts, provide!

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