At work they'll follow the dress code, and avoid saying anything too controversial. Being in different sororities? Maybe you can leave fairly soon, or you might have to hunker down for a while. 4 Answers. I find shared experiences when I speak with people who know what it is like to feel different—people with disabilities, migrants, creative people, gay people, introverts, recovering addicts, and many others.Though we don’t share those particular characteristics, our mutual understanding of what it is like to be different connects us, powerfully.We know what it is like to be judged because of who we are. Sadly, the society we live in is giving more and more importance to primitive instincts … Never have been. Stop caring about rest of the people. In other words, they simply aren’t prepared to deal with your complexity, depth, and ability to think for yourself. What can you do if your problem is that you don't fit in? I have a nice job lined up. It is hard when you feel you should live up to society's expectations. I’ve always felt the pressure to fit in. It’s not easy to be unable to fit into society especially when they need to face life’s challenges and problems. If you feel like you don’t ‘fit in’ with most of society and your actions are respectful, responsible and … Anonymous. But just because someone has a different way of thinking, it doesn’t mean you need to accept it as your own; just respect it and try to see where they’re coming from. We don't really know who we are because of how much society has impacted us. Sometimes, not fitting into society would make you feel like you’re not good enough. Please do not copy, reproduce, or translate any articles without permission. Answer Save. I don't know what it must be like from a male perspective, but even women have the same complexities. It's like I'm completely different from everyone else. 1 decade ago. That's not the answer though. How do you think about the answers? In that way, society might not agree or be in line with the things that you do, but they will at least allow you to be a part of them. Confusing not having to justify our actions with being unable to justify our actions. i don't fit in and i don't want to. Those situations are different. There are many reasons why some people feel that they are not fitting into society. The consequences can differ too. You know, don't stick to the trodden path in life ie: 9-5 office job with a husband and 2.5 kids, don't stick to the path in the wild either, ma bad! Relevance. Because they’re “different”, they feel as though it’s a curse and often, the world makes them believe so. We know what i… I don't fit into society either why should we all be the same don't fit in stand out and keep your head high focus on your school work, just remember that if you succeed all these losers who are mean will be working for you someday, 0 0. “Don’t change so people will like you; be yourself and the right people will love you.” ~Unknown . Also by Mark Woods. There are no easy answers but maybe there’s something in the following that may be helpful. There is an imaginary template that we all somehow have to fit to succeed in this new world we live in. However this kind of thinking, about how you don't fully fit into any group, can place a bit too much importance on the idea that people fit into neat little clans, and their social lives revolve around what clique they're a member of. It’s tough to deal with feeling like you don’t really fit in. Maybe there's a particular bar in your town that caters to your subculture, or a monthly meet up that's organized online, or an obscure club at your university you could join. People can be physically assaulted, black balled from their community, have their property vandalized, or have their family members threatened and harassed. It seems like community cases have magically disappeared again. I don't worry about society much. Everything I do to try to get better never works. Being someone who can’t fit into society doesn’t mean that you’re “weird”, just different. I have never been to a party in my life - mainly because I haven't been invited, but I wouldn't go to one if I was. I'm shy, quiet, bit socially awkward. But I’m just not satisfied with myself. I don't like talking, I prefer to listen or just observe. Favourite answer. Not fitting in could mean things such as: Of course, social awkwardness, shyness, and not fitting in do sometimes go together, however there are many cases where someone feels their communication skills are fine, and they're not anxious around people, but their social lives suffer because they're different. That will make anyone feel like they’re an outcast and there’s definitely nothing wonderful about feeling like one. 9 Answers. April 28, 2014 By admin. Many people have a difference or two that gets them this kind of light flak from others, and they mostly just put up with it. And if you and I feel like that, then there must be a heap of other people who feel the same. For example, someone may mostly be similar to their social circle, but get condescending little comments for one opinion they hold. Is different being a hipster? Showering in the Morning vs Evening: Which is Better? Here’s what it’s like being someone who feels like he is not fitting into society. People in certain subcultures, or who have particular philosophies towards life, find they have to do this. Those who don’t conform are also more likely to look within for answers because the external answers are fabrications, lies or are unacceptable. Update: I don't even fit in at Church. At the other extreme someone may blatantly stand out from the norm and draw everyone's negative attention. They often ask themselves if it’s more important what other people think about them, or what they feel about themselves at the end of the day. I’d say I’m successful in terms of my academics and job. The rest of the time, they are generally excluded and ignored, because who they represent doesn’t fit into the jigsaw of a community. So you are not alone in feeling that you don't fit into society. Plus, saying hello to a stranger is like showing up with a Christmas gift when I had no idea we were exchanging gifts and I didn’t get you anyway. Because, if I was, I would be somewhere else, having a different conversation, with a different set of people, and showing up more fully and completely as me. Mostly, though, it's that I realize I'm not living a life in full alignment with my truth. A society with its standards, expectations and societal norms is exactly what makes life harder for those who can’t fit into society. Sometimes it's that I feel like the oddball of the group. In the middle of the scale might be someone who is part of a subculture that's not well represented in their area, and is lonely as a result. Society is validating what a person should and should not look like, what the definition of beauty is, that happiness is when you are successful, that you will only be liked if you’re ‘normal’, so on and so forth. You can sign in to vote the answer. Anonymous. They find it difficult to communicate with people, thus they avoid it at all costs. It's one thing to have actual weaknesses in your social skills, which people are giving you legitimate criticism and feedback about. I don't fit into society because my brain can't keep up with the social dynamism of others. Finding your tribe is more important than ‘fitting in’ Honestly, if you have to change yourself to fit in … It's when you don't fit into the social norm, and that's what's causing you problems. Shutterstock 1. These days, if you see someone in a shopping mall who is bare-faced, you'd look at them as if... How to Use “Ok Boomer” in an Office #shorts. I often don't feel very female-like at all. A free guide to getting past social awkwardness, Having different interests and priorities than most of the people around you (for some reason, the example that always comes to mind for me is someone living up in a U.S. town where the entire population seems obsessed with high school or college sports, while they couldn't be any less interested), Having different beliefs or values than everyone around you (e.g., being the only artsy hippy in a closed-minded town, being the only conservative religious person in a dorm full of people who love drinking and partying), Just being the odd person out who gets picked on (e.g., being the 'weird' guy at your job), Being part of a legitimately marginalized group, like being gay in a more intolerant part of the country, The proven way to get past boring small talk, Instantly beat self-consciousness with the, Busting the myth that you have to get a "more interesting life" to be interesting. 2.2K views It can all reflect a high school movie mentality where everyone is a jock or a stoner or some other archetype. Will I ever fit into society? Like in the example above, on the mild side all that may happen is someone gets some friendly teasing about it, or boring lectures from their mom. This can … Others feel more forced into it, because their 'real' self would be too misunderstood and rejected otherwise. They don't fit the mold that society has given us. Another more mild consequence for someone may be that many people don't want to be friends with them, and just politely ignore them, which they're fine with. Don’t tell me hello if you don’t know me, because I’m going somewhere, I’m on my way to a task, and you’re holding me up. I’ve felt socially rejected all my life. Why I Don’t Fit Into Society. Be bold enough to live life on your … Though I'm also a therapist and can offer in-depth, personalized help. #shorts, 6 Asian Myths That Aren’t True (Based on Science! We as college students live in a world that tells us being different is okay, but doesn't give us the definition of "different". TW: Suicide talk. Sign in . I live in it, and have to work in it (which S U C K S), but the fact that I don't fit in is a testament to our current society. I don’t see myself lasting for awhile. There's a lot you can do to improve your social skills on your own - I wouldn't have made this site if I thought otherwise. This is one of the classic solutions, used by people who were raised in stifling small towns the world over. I'm currently working with clients who live in Ontario, Canada: Copyright © 2006-2021 SucceedSocially.com. Especially when you're younger, you can't choose where you live, and where you were raised may not be a good fit for you. and you're not horrible at everything you do, you just haven't discovered what you're good at yet. Lacking specific interpersonal skills is one broad type of social problem. Being “different” means that you’re going to be looked at differently, spoken to differently and treated differently. I wish the human race were smarter as a whole, but I can't change it. Just not conventional like that, I like to explore and discover things. “You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. These reasons range from living a different lifestyle to just being a “unique” individual altogether. Answer Save. It’s time that society needs to start accepting as well as respecting those individuals as just “different” and not weird so that they may be able to embrace and accept their own individuality. The mainstream herd becomes a majority and will marginalize anyone who does not fit into that group who then feel ostracized and abnormal. I wanted to focus on how society does this and why we feel the need to fit into it. I am really unhappy because I don't fit in anywhere and I despair at our society. 1 decade ago. If the situation you're in seems bad enough, and you don't see it getting better any time soon, then it may be the right call to move somewhere else. 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